Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give (Book Review)

Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give book coverAs someone who is happily single, I’m sure I’m not the target audience for the book Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give by Ada Calhoun. I bought it because I like reading memoirs by authors whose worlds are different from my own. (It’s good for my fiction writing, and I just enjoy learning about other people’s lives.)

I liked the author’s willingness to share anecdotes that didn’t put her in the best light, her humor, and her openness about the challenges of staying married.

Many of the stories resonated with me, as married friends told me similar ones. The book helped me better understand some of their struggles.

But there’s next to nothing in the book that shows why anyone would want to stay married. And everything to suggest it’s a recipe for lifelong unhappiness.

The rare mentions of times the author felt good about being married left me puzzled and a bit sad. I wanted to tell her that you don’t have to endure years of an unhappy marriage just to have someone with whom you share inside jokes or a long history.

You also don’t need to be married to live in a rambling old house rather than an apartment. Or to have one peaceful moment in the course of a decade where you feel all’s right with the world.

Conclusion – Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give

In all, I expected a realistic and somewhat wry portrait of marriage, which the book delivers. But I thought the realism might include a bit more hope that it’s worth it to surmount the challenges. In the end, though, this book suggests merely not being single/being able to say you’ve been married for a long time is enough. Even if you find marriage to be almost entirely drudgery.

On the other hand, the book might be encouraging if you were terribly unhappy when you were single and so want to stay married no matter what. Or if your marriage is going through a rough patch. The author reassures you you’re not alone in your struggles. And she offers a bit of humor to help you cope.