If you’re like almost everyone I know (especially other authors and artists), you’re juggling favorite projects, other work that pays some bills, possibly the business aspects of your art, and, oh, maybe family, friends, and all of life. For that reason, I’ve personally spent a lot of the last few years constantly feeling that whatever I’m working on, I “should” be doing something else.

Last month, though, I set aside a couple hours to sort out how to feel less stressed and use my time more wisely in 2025. The way I did it might be helpful to you, too.

Assess Your Tasks

First, I wrote down all the things I need to do in a week for work (creative or other). That included producing regular Buffy and the Art of Story podcast episodes, a supernatural suspense novel-in-progress, my ongoing mystery series, a non-fiction book, marketing efforts, some legal work (I still practice law though I don’t spend a lot of time on it), and more.

Next, I added tasks that take time but aren’t directly related to my main goals. That covered things like reading about industry trends, catching up on email, and updating software. I need to do these tasks, and they often take even more time when I put them off. Yet I leave it to chance when to fit them in.

I added a catch all category to cover anything that arose in a week that required quick attention.

Assess Your Time

In Step 3 I assigned a realistic number of hours to each task. For me, realistic means doubling the time I think the task should take. That accounts for tech snafus, trouble writing a scene or chapter, and anything other than all systems working perfectly at all times.

Finally, I added up the number of hours. My goal is to work 40 hours or less a week. (For decades that number was 55-75 but that no longer appeals to me.) The hours added up to nearly 60. So it turns out the reason I always feel like I never get enough done is that I set my expectations too high. As a result, I either work far more than I want to or feel I’m letting myself down.

For a moment, I felt disheartened. Then I made purposeful choices. I decided my happiness when I work no more than 40 hours outweighed my desire to compete every project on my list. After that, it was a matter of shifting.

Shift Your Time And Expectations

I couldn’t, for instance, fit in first drafting my current novel, editing my latest non-fiction book, and creating marketing materials for my Q.C. Davis novels every week. But I could choose 2 of the 3 until I finished one of them, then slide the third task into that time slot. I also made sure not to cut things that felt tedious but saved time in the long run. (Such as watching tutorials on how to use a new audio editing program.)

Since then, each week I glance at my list of hours. If I feel strongly about spending more time on one task, I choose another to push to the following week. Then the following week, that one becomes a priority. When a new potential project comes along I ask myself if it’s worth moving something off my list to do it.

Not everyone is a list maker by nature. (As you might guess, I am.) But whether or not you make a list, looking carefully and realistically at all that’s on your plate can help you see changes, even small ones, that might make your schedule more manageable in the long run. And, in turn, make your life a little less stressed. 

I hope that’s helpful!

If you’re a writer who at times struggles with anxiety or stress, you may also find my book Happiness, Anxiety, and Writing: Using Your Creativity To Lead A Calmer, Happier Life helpful. You can find it by clicking here.

The post Balance Your Work, Your Life, Your Year appeared first on Lisa Lilly.

I loved talking with Joanna. Through her blog and podcast she’s been encouraging creative people and sharing information for over a decade.

Among other things, we talked about:

• Solving problems or meeting challenges through many small changes or actions rather than one big fix
• Changing the questions we ask ourselves to focus on solutions rather than problems
• Creating more joy and lowering stress and anxiety through reliving what’s already great in our lives
• The pluses of having more than one career or pursuit that you love

You can listen here.

Happiness, Anxiety And Writing As A Second Career With Lisa Lilly

You can also find more on these topics in Happiness, Anxiety, and Writing: Using Your Creativity To Live A Calmer, Happier Life.

The post Happiness, Small Changes, And More Than One Job appeared first on Lisa Lilly.

To figure out challenges for my protagonist, I kept asking What If? 

What If she’s determined to go to medical school and discovers she’s pregnant despite never having had sex? What If her parents, usually supportive, think she’s in denial about her situation? What If when she persists in her “story” they try to have her committed to a psych ward?

And What If someone finally believes her, but he’s from a religious group that warns that she’s about to trigger an Apocalypse? And will very likely die in the process?

Real Life, Anxiety, and Imagination

Those aren’t problems that relate to my life. But asking What If and coming up with the most disturbing possible answer was something I did on a regular basis.

Because in real life, a vivid imagination can send us spinning through endless negative outcomes. Often when we’re lying awake at night, trying desperately to sleep.

All of which is why I wrote Happiness, Anxiety, and Writing.

Using Creativity To Enhance Happiness And Calm

Happiness, Anxiety, and Writing shares ways to use your imagination and writing skills to create a calmer, happier life.

The book includes:

• Techniques to derail anxious thoughts you otherwise repeat;
• Ways to talk to yourself and others that promote calm rather than reinforce worry;
• Specific, targeted exercises to direct your creative mind and imagination in a positive way;
• How and when to write and rewrite the best parts of your life for greater happiness;
• And more.

A Scary Book To Write

It wasn’t easy writing this book.

I included so much of my personal struggles with anxiety and depression that I felt exposed as I wrote. But I wanted to share both my actual experience and what worked for me in the hope that others might find value in it.

That’s why it made me so happy when a reviewer said:

I spent the entire time reading this guide nodding my head because it was as if this book was written especially for me. I thought the solutions given to changing your mindset were simple to execute but had extraordinary results.

If you at times find anxiety plaguing you or interfering with your life, I hope it will help you, too.

Find Happiness, Anxiety, and Writing here:

Kindle
Workbook

P.S. Happiness, Anxiety, and Writing is a Five-Star Reader’s Favorite. Read the full review here.

(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases made through this site, but that doesn’t add any cost to the buyer.)

The post Happiness, Anxiety, and Writing: Using Your Creativity To Live A Calmer, Happier Life appeared first on Lisa Lilly.

By definition, being human and mortal means not having enough time.

Most of us can think of more things to do than we could ever engage in during an average lifespan.

Yet there are periods in my life when I’ve felt extreme anxiety over not having enough time and others when I’ve felt, in contrast, more relaxed about time. As if I’m truly enjoying the time I have despite it being limited.

So what is “enough time”?

Doing What You Don’t Love

I love to read.

But last night something strange happened. As I read a book I’m halfway through and so far don’t particularly love (The Shining Girls—I’ll review later on Goodreads), it hit me.

Reading a book I don’t love and finishing it all the same makes me feel like I have plenty of time.

Before I went to law school I finished almost every novel I ever started, whether I liked it or not. It happened a fair amount because I often picked books at random from library shelves and read them simply because I liked the descriptions.

Since law school, I’ve chosen only books or authors I felt pretty sure I’d like. And if I didn’t after the first 10-20 pages, I stopped reading.

The freedom to read something I don’t love tells me that I am not merely cramming things I enjoy into tiny little pieces of time.

Without A Purpose

Reading nonfiction that doesn’t directly relate to my legal or writing work also makes me feel like I have a lot of time.

Why?

Because it’s reading simply for the sake of learning whether or not it might help my profession. The reality is that kind of reading almost always factors into my writing, teaching, or law practice. In fact, it’s probably much better for all three to read widely.

But back when so many hours of my life were already filled with practicing law and I barely squeezed in writing, I felt I couldn’t justify reading non-fiction simply for the sake of it. If I had free time to read, that sliver went to novels I knew I’d love.

A Few Moments Of Rest

Because I’m still rehabbing from breaking my foot earlier this year I need to take a lot of breaks when I walk.

That led to me sitting in some of Chicago‘s many lovely outdoor plazas and reading—or simply sitting. For the first time since I can remember I feel like I’m truly enjoying the summer, despite that for the first month of it I barely got outside.

The difference is that now once a day I’m truly spending time in the city, not just walking from Point A to Point B as quickly as I can.

Putting It Together

Yes, I love reading, and I also love Chicago. So spending more time on both makes me happier.

But I figured out my feeling of having enough time comes from 3 things.

• Doing (Or Being) 

Allowing myself to read or sit for no reason other than I want or need to do that makes me feel less rushed.

It means I’m taking moments to immerse myself in where I am regardless whether it’s the absolute best use of my time.

The primary purpose isn’t to achieve anything.

It’s to do the thing. To read simply to read. To rest simply to rest.

• Experimenting

Finishing a book I don’t particularly love is an experiment.

I’m letting myself see if by the end I might feel it was worthwhile reading that book. Whether that’s because the ending makes the rest of it resonate more or because I learned something I otherwise wouldn’t have or because I simply stepped into the shoes of a character I don’t especially like.

Likewise, stopping at a plaza because I need to rest means I experience things I didn’t plan.

Yesterday I rested on the outskirts of an ice cream social and heard a band of four guys who sang beautiful harmonies. Another time I discovered a Farmer’s Market I hadn’t known would be there.

• Living 

It’s not as if in the past I ignored the city around me. You can see many photos of Chicago on my Instagram feed.

But mostly those photos were taken as quick shots on my way somewhere or out my window or off my deck from home. I’m not sitting and absorbing the sights and sounds and smells. (A few of those smells aren’t pleasant in the middle of Chicago. But others are—like the cheese and caramel mix from Garrett’s Popcorn or lilacs along an underpass near where I live.)

And rather than sitting only during the five minutes when the weather is perfect, I’m feeling heat and humidity, fog and drizzle.

So for me, apparently, having enough time means the freedom to do things I didn’t plan and that I’m not sure I’ll enjoy.

How about you? What makes you feel like you have enough time?

The post On Finding Enough Time appeared first on Lisa Lilly.

It felt fantastic.

First I walked from my physical therapist’s office to the main Chase bank branch on Monroe and Dearborn. I’d been hoping to sit in the lobby area overlooking the plaza and fountain and rest, but it was under construction. As is everywhere near downtown Chicago these days it seems.

Downtown Chicago Sounds And Smells

On the way, I enjoyed the variety of walking up and down curbs and uneven sidewalks. Also enjoyed skirting street signs (one sideways from recent wind storms) and passing people moving more slowly than me as they stared zombie-eyed at smartphones held out in front of them.

I loved all the city sounds: horns from impatient drivers, conversations all around me in multiple languages, sirens from a few blocks away, seagulls squawking at one another over territory.

And the smells.

Rich caramel and cheese from Garrett’s Popcorn, dark roast coffee, exhaust fumes, the spray of water from a fountain.

It felt as if all my senses had gone on high alert after so many weeks mostly in my condo and then a week outside at the retreat.

I did get outside a bit before that onto my deck. Here’s a view from there of a recent sunset:

I also got to do two of my favorite things in the last two days. One was to read at a coffeehouse, as rather than stop in the Chase building I went on to a Starbucks two blocks away.

A Digression About Starbucks’ Distressing Remodels

This particular Starbucks is on Monroe and LaSalle Streets.

It used to be one of my favorite Starbucks to visit. Unfortunately for me, it’s been revamped and remodeled like many downtown Chicago Starbucks. Gone are most of the comfortable armchairs and nearly all of tables and chairs at a height where I can have my feet on the floor. Now most Starbucks seem to have tall bistro tables that I find far less comfortable.

When there were normal chair and table heights, I used to be able to set my shoulder bag or purse on the floor between my feet and loop the strap over my knee to guard against someone grabbing it without my notice.

The bistro-height chairs require me to choose between hanging my purse or shoulder bag over the back of my chair (a gold-plated invitation to have my wallet stolen), putting in on the floor out of my reach where it can also be easily be snagged, or resting it awkwardly in my lap.

Back To My Favorite Things

Needless to say, I visit Starbucks a lot less now. But happily Monday I did find one armchair in a corner where I could rest my injured foot on an air conditioning vent, read, and look out the window.

The second thing I love to do is to write at a coffeehouse. (All this despite that I’m not a coffee drinker. I favor tea or hot chocolate.)

And, to my delight, I discovered that a Dollop opened only a couple blocks from me. The closeness makes it easy for me to take my laptop there.

After 2+ months of writing at home at my dining room table (not even in my home office, as I couldn’t put my foot up there) it felt wonderful to write again among the buzz of conversation. And with a view of the outdoors. That’s what you’re seeing just beyond my laptop and Aircast in the very first photo of this post.

After the walk my mood lifted. My writing flowed more freely, and I felt more in touch with the Chicago my characters live in.

I also felt more in touch with the joys of my own life. Not being able to walk for many weeks brought home to me how much I love the city I live in and how many wonderful parts of day-to-day life I’ve been taking for granted.

I hope I’ll remember that even if my recovery continues to progress well and I eventually am completely healed.

The post The Sights, Sounds, and Smells of Downtown Chicago appeared first on Lisa Lilly.

An artist creates a painting during a concert at Tavern of Fine Arts in St. Louis

The Benefits Of Finding Ways To Relax

Easier Problem Solving: Have you ever spent days or weeks struggling with a work or personal issue, only to have a solution come to you as you drift to sleep at night or take a long shower? The creative part of our mind needs to be relaxed to pull together the analytical work we’ve done to help us solve problems. That’s why after spending hours or days researching a legal issue or gathering information for my next novel, I take a break. Time away from the problem almost always ultimately saves time, as I find a solution more quickly than if I kept slogging away.

Better Health And Happiness: Increased alpha waves, which are the brain waves associated with relaxation and meditation, have been linked to better overall health and well-being. For most people, increasing alpha brain waves lowers blood pressure, boosts the body’s immune system, and increases serotonin, the brain chemical that can help counteract depression.

More Success: Artists and other people in creative fields tend to experience alpha brain waves more often than other people. Interestingly, so do top performing athletes. In the moment before the perfect golf shot, tennis stroke, or home run, the best performing athletes relax, let go of all they’ve learned consciously, and immerse themselves in the moment. This is what’s known as being “in the zone.” It feels wonderful, and it’s linked to high performance.

Traveled to St. Louis & saw a Chicago band, Switchback

By now you’re probably thinking that all sounds fine, but who has time? Fortunately, you don’t need to sit on a pillow and count your breaths for twenty minutes a day to relax.

Five Enjoyable Ways To Relax

Music: Listening to music is a great way to relax. You can listen to audio or attend a live performance. A live performance often provides more relaxation because it prevents you from feeling you ought to be simultaneously doing something else while listening to the music. I get great ideas for my novels while attending concerts. When I visited St. Louis recently, I saw Chicago band Switchback in concert. The songs had nothing to do with the mystery series I’m planning to write, but as I listened and tapped my foot, ideas about my new main character flooded my mind. Practicing an instrument, regardless of skill level, is another great way to give the analytic part of your mind a break. As you learn chords, practice scales, or immerse yourself in rhythm, you can let go of all your other stresses and concerns.

Coloring And Other Art: You don’t need to be an artist to use visual art as a way to relax. Coloring books for adults offer all types of images, including gardens, animals, and geometric patterns, to color, whether inside or outside the lines. You can find a sampling of them here. Coloring gives you a chance to focus on something immediate and enjoyable. When you’re finished, you have a feeling of accomplishment, but there’s no need to show anyone else if you don’t want to, so there’s no added stress from outside regarding whether the art is “good.” If you prefer looking at art, museums can be a great way to relax. The images and art objects there offer your mind something new and different to consider and temporarily wipe away other worries and concerns.

One of the winter views from the Amtrak from St. Louis to Chicago.

Riding The Train: I recently took Amtrak from Chicago to St. Louis and back. I did some work on the train, revising the third book in my Awakening series. But I also spent time simply looking out the window. Looking at nature, whether it’s during a walk, through a window, or in a picture relaxes people. The train is a great way to do that while you travel. Unlike when you’re in the sky on a plane, you’re close enough throughout the trip to see the countryside. And unlike driving, you don’t need to pay attention to directions or operating a vehicle. If normally drive or fly on vacation or for work and it’s feasible to take a train, give it a try and see how you like it. Or take a short train trip just for the experience. You’ll relax and, who knows, you might find something fun on the other end.

Walking: The rhythm of walking lulls the mind into the same sort of contemplative, relaxed state that occurs during sitting meditation. The key is to simply walk, not listen to music or audio or rehash your latest worries in your head. Let your mind wander. Let yourself feel bored if necessary, and soon your muscles will relax and your mind will rest. Walking also has the advantage of being a means of transportation. In Chicago, it’s often quicker and easier to walk a mile than to drive it, and it’s always cheaper, as it doesn’t require insurance, paying for parking, or filling the gas tank. If you’re not used to walking, start with the equivalent of a few blocks. Or add a very short walk—say from one side of your office building to the other or from the farthest parking spot to the entrance—several times a day. If you don’t live somewhere conducive to walking, consider driving to a park or indoor track once a week.

The Book House in St. Louis

Reading: Studies show people in hospital waiting rooms are less stressed or upset when they read novels than when they do anything else. Fiction allows us to jump into another world and leave our own behind. If you’re not used to reading or you feel like reading is a waste of time, try setting a timer for 15 minutes before you open the book. This reassures you that not too much time will be used. It also helps you persist if initially you don’t find the writing engaging. A great time to read fiction is right before you go to sleep. It helps your mind transition away from the day’s events. When I’m able to read at least half an hour before going to bed, I sleep better and wake up more refreshed. Goodreads is a great site for book recommendations. And if you like books in the mystery, occult, suspense, or thriller genres, you can subscribe to my M.O.S.T. e-newsletter here for monthly reviews and recommendations.

I hope the above options help you become more relaxed and happy! Feel free to comment on your favorite way to relax below.
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Lisa M. Lilly is the author of the occult thrillers The Awakening and The Unbelievers, Books 1 and 2 in the Awakening series. A short film of the title story of her collection The Tower Formerly Known as Sears and Two Other Tales of Urban Horror was recently produced under the title Willis Tower. If you’d like to be notified of new releases and read reviews of M.O.S.T. (Mystery, Occult, Suspense, Thriller) books and movies, click here to join her email list and receive free a short horror story, Ninevah, published exclusively to M.O.S.T. subscribers.

The post Five Ways To Relax and Why You Should Try One This Week appeared first on Lisa Lilly.

On a trip to Maui, relaxing after finishing latest revisions to The Conflagration.

Happiness:

When I was in my late 30s, I read a book, How We Choose to Be Happy, that compiles studies on happiness. I don’t remember the details, but the gist of it was that the happiest people are those who figure out for themselves what brings them joy and follow their own paths rather than trying to conform to what other people believe they should do. The book made sense to me, but I confess I sometimes worried when family members and even friends warned me that I’d “be sorry later” for not making the same choices they had made or were making. (My mother, distressed about me living with a longtime boyfriend without being married, once said, “You’re not happy, you just think you are.” Which could provide fodder for some interesting philosophical discussions, but that’s a whole other post.) I’ve stopped worrying about being sorry later. Over fifty years, I’ve known enough people for enough time to see firsthand that those who are happiest are those who’ve been fortunate enough to spend much of their time doing what they enjoy, being with people they like and respect, and putting most of their effort toward goals they find meaningful, regardless of how well their lives match anyone else’s picture of what they “should” be doing.

Home:

For the first 15 years of my working life, I worked very hard and earned very little. For the next 15, I worked hard and earned enough to buy a home (and later buy and move to a different home), but I was at my office or traveling so much I often felt I was living in a hotel. It was nice, but impersonal. Over the last decade, though, I’ve managed to accumulate furniture and furnishings I love (the former from a mix of Pottery Barn, secondhand and antique stores, and family pieces, including my grandmother’s Singer sewing machine) and paint colors and flooring that all actually fit together. I enjoy my surroundings at home more than I ever have. That’s especially important because I do most of my writing in my home office. So my kitchen is both my kitchen and my break room, and my living room is my living room and a second area for pacing and dictating chapters into my iPhone when I feel too cooped up in my home office.

Privacy:

Now that I’m near 50, fewer people ask intrusive questions about my personal life. Many women have told me that when they were pregnant, strangers would come up to them and touch their bellies and ask personal questions about how far along they were or if they were planning on natural childbirth, as if it is everyone’s right to know about their reproductive choices. Likewise, as I wrote about in Goodbye Ovaries, throughout my 30s and early 40s, people took it upon themselves to ask why I hadn’t had children yet and to rush to assure me that there was still time to have them, even when I said I didn’t want or plan to have kids. My guess is that now people satisfy themselves by thinking, “Oh, how sad, she never had kids,” and refrain from saying anything for fear of making me feel worse. I don’t feel sad at not having children, but if the idea that I might be causes others to keep their views on my choices to themselves, I’m all for it.

The post The Beauty of Being Fifty appeared first on Lisa Lilly.