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To calm me down, my trial partner reminded me that it was low stakes. Our client had already served 18 months in prison while awaiting trial. That was the longest he’d need to serve if the jury found him guilty. 

In other words, either way he was being released this week.

When I first learned that, I was shocked. How could that be fair? A Not Guilty meant no criminal record, so it mattered. Especially if he got arrested for something in the future. But the government couldn’t give him the 18 months back. Everything he might have done during that time was just a loss.

Why Stay In Prison?

The client stayed in prison while we prepared for trial because his mother had enough money to either pay for his lawyers or his bail. But not both. He might have qualified for a public defender. But PDs in Cook County, Illinois, often have huge caseloads. A defense lawyer who is paid typically has more time to devote to the case and that can make a big difference.

And while it was my first trial, the lead lawyer on the case had tried hundreds if not thousands of cases during his decades first as a prosecutor and then as a defense lawyer. He was the guy other lawyers sent their toughest cases to. 

The choice is one a lot of criminal defendants face. They haven’t been convicted of anything. But they’re in jail. Even if they’re innocent, they might plea bargain (meaning agree to plead guilty for a shorter sentence) just to be able to go home. Otherwise, many will lose their jobs. Their kids might have no one to take care of them. And then there’s the physical and mental toll of being incarcerated.

First Trial, No Real Answers

That first trial resulted in a Not Guilty.

But I still don’t have an answer to this dilemma. While the defendant has a right to a speedy trial, it takes time to prepare a strong defense. Rushing forward is rarely good for the client. And while it’s unfair that someone who might be innocent remains in jail, it can be dangerous to let people arrested for violent crimes go free during that time.

This balance and the pressure on someone charged with a crime inspired part of my novel The Troubled Man. I don’t write legal thrillers–I get enough law in the rest of my life. But the main character in my Q.C. Davis mystery series is both a lawyer and a private investigator. Using some legal drama as a backdrop for the crimes she solves gives me the chance to paint a somewhat realistic picture of how the law works.

What’s The Story?

In The Troubled Man, a desperate teenage girl begs Quille to help free her father, now in jail for the murder of her mother. While the plot revolves around Quille’s quest to uncover the true killer (even if that turns out to be the father), the ins and outs of the justice system are woven in throughout. If you read it, I hope you’ll enjoy the crime solving and the chance to follow along with Quille. But I’d love to hear your thoughts about how it portrays the criminal justice system, too.

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At first I didn’t recognize many common themes in my own novels.

Common Themes, Very Different Novels

The Awakening series has a college-aged main character, is told from multiple viewpoints, and deals with themes of good and evil on a large scale, apocalyptic prophecies, and how deeply held beliefs can cause people to see the same situation (in this case a pregnant virgin) in totally different ways that lead to conflicting goals and choices. There are villains, but their views are explored and their motives are rarely simply to do evil things. They believe they are doing what’s right.

The Q.C. Davis mystery series is far more personal. It’s told mainly by the main character, Quille, a thirty-something lawyer who solves crimes because of her deep mistrust in authorities which is rooted in childhood trauma. The villains tend to be true villains who commit murder for convenience, personal gain, or because they can’t help themselves.

And then there’s my orphan book, When Darkness Falls. Though published later, I wrote it before all the others. It’s about a twenty-something woman who falls for a man who doesn’t know he recently became a vampire. It explores love, commitment, attraction, isolation. The villain there, too, is fairly villainous.

So what ties these together?

Some common themes emerged as I worked through my marketing. But one didn’t occur to me until a friend pointed it out — terrible mothers.

The worst is probably in When Darkness Falls. Seen entirely through the protagonist’s eyes, while that mother allows her daughter to move home as she’s recovering from injuries, she’s unsympathetic, overly critical, and generally makes her daughter Haley’s life that much stressful. The difficult relationship in part pushes Haley to rush into marriage with someone she doesn’t know well as a way to get away.

In The Awakening, protagonist Tara Spencer’s mom is quite combative from nearly page 1. Not only does she refuse to believe Tara never had sex but is all the same pregnant (which to be fair would be hard to believe in real life), she accuses her daughter of lying to protect her good girl image of herself. But the character is more complex than Haley’s mother. Through the course of four books the reader learns more about Lynette’s life and views and why she is the way she is. And despite her friction with her daughter, Lynette by her actions comes through for Tara, sometimes when no one else does.

The mom in the Q.C. Davis mysteries emotionally abandons Quille as a child. And, when Quille is an adult, often takes everything Quille does for her for granted and criticizes her. But Brenda Davis’s reasons for being the way she is are explored more deeply than Lynette’s. Her second daughter, the original Quille C. Davis (known as Q.C.), was kidnapped and murdered as a young girl. Brenda never recovered from the loss. She named Quille, born soon after, for her deceased daughter and forever held up the original Q.C. as the perfect child.

Brenda’s chronic depression and anxiety shaped Quille’s life. But Brenda did make sure Quille was cared for by her grandmother, who provided a lot of love and support. That led to Quille being a happier, healthier (to a point) person than is likely given the family trauma. And as the books unfold the relationship between the two improves incrementally.

Where These Themes Come From

Given what I just shared (much of which you may know depending upon which books you’ve read), it’s hard to believe I didn’t see the “terrible mothers” theme. And you’re probably wondering about my relationship with my mother. When I was a kid, it was great. No parent is perfect any more than any human is. But my mom and dad were good parents. I was lucky enough that I always felt safe at home, had enough to eat, and got the message that I could do whatever I put my mind to. My mom did tend to be critical. But overall the message was to do my best and treat other people well and I’d likely get wherever I wanted to go.

When I was young my parents were really good, too, at encouraging me at what I did well, pushing me to expand my comfort zones a little, but mostly wanting me to be my best self rather than turning me into someone else. So, for instance, they accepted early on that they weren’t raising an athlete. Or even a kid who could catch a softball. (Good luck on that.)

But as an adult my mother and I ran into roadblocks. As I said when I gave her eulogy, she was a strong, determined woman who went her own way, knew her own mind, and was certain she was right. She raised me to be the same way. No surprise that when we didn’t agree it was hard to resolve. She definitely wanted me to think for myself. She just wasn’t prepared for me to think differently than she did.

Maybe I wasn’t either.

No doubt the things that challenge me influence what I choose to write about. While my mom and I came to a pretty good place before she died, mother-daughter relationships in all their forms still tend to intrigue me. But when creating fictional moms, daughters, or any characters, I draw from multiple people I’ve known for a short or long time, read about, or heard about, not only my own experience. I’m sure all writers do the same or most novels would be too much like ordinary life. My hope, though, is that whatever I’m exploring, readers find something that speaks to them about their own lives. And maybe walk away feeling a little more hopeful.

That’s all for now. I hope you have a great weekend.

Best,
Lisa

P.S. Here’s where you can check out the fiction mentioned above:

Start the Awakening series:
https://lisalilly.com/the-awakening/

Read the Q.C. Davis Mysteries:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MHH9QVY

Check out When Darkness Falls:
https://lisalilly.com/when-darkness-falls-2/

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In Who Are You (S1 E16 of Buffy), Faith makes a desperate bid to survive, devastating Buffy, in the second of two episodes that eventually lead to her visiting Los Angeles–and Angel. Along with the recap of Who Are You, this podcast episode focuses on: 

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